Music today....
This AM I set the computer on random- a great mix of the McGarrigles, Emmylou Harris, Billy Bragg and Wilco, Zucchero, and Zero Seven.

What's on your turnatable today??

I have spent the better part of my life trying to avoid being a "political junkie" watching and obsessing over what the pundits and politicos have to say. But I find myself trapped here of late- stuck in watching the slow and steady decline into total madness that is Iraq. Voicing criticisms now is bit like joining the marathon 100 yards from the finish line. There are many others who have raised their voices more actively and courageously. 

There is not much excuse for my hesitation but there is a reason for my concern and my anger.  As I listen to Pres. Bush talk about "hardship" and "sacrifice" I want to say "let me tell you what 'sacrifice' really means...".  

My father was an Army officer in the Vietnam War. His role was as an embedded 'adviser" to the South Vietnamese forces. This meant that he served with a SV unit in providing supplies to outlying units. Duirng his last mission he observed indications that Viet Cong (rebel insurgents) were in the area and advised the SV commander that the return journey should be diverted in a different direction. The SV commander refused. 

On the return journey the convoy was ambushed by VC forces. The force was surrounded and pinned down in an area  of rice paddies. When it became clear that the group would likely be captured, the SV commander committed suicide rather than face capture. My father was captured. 

Given that the VC were not an organized fighting force or a national army there was no formal system for handling POW's. Best accounts indicate that my father was held in a bamboo tiger cage and transported from village to village. He was also filmed for a propoganda statement that was shown to locals. He had no contact with other Americans for eight months. 

When he was finally brought to a POW holding area he weighed in at just around 100lbs. He suffered from malnutrition, malaria, dysentery, and a host of opportunistic infections. He died within a week. 

It was four years from the time of his capture that we had any information on what had happened to my father. American POWs released for the Tet New Year celerations returned with reports on those they had seen. I was six years old at the time. 

I was told that my father had died an "honorable death"- that he had given his life "to fight the enemy over there so they will not come over here". I believed that mssage all the way up to 1973 and then I watched the signing of the Paris Peace Accords. I watched the media coverage of the fall of Saigon. I watched the POWs returning home and being greeted by family, by children just like me. 

I waited to be vindicated in believing that my father's death had somehow been worthwhile- that somehow he had kept some evil at bay. I waited. I watched. I watched Southeast Asia continue to be torn by turmoil. I watched the slow emeregence of Vietnam as a seeming force of good in overthrowing the genocide of Pol Pot. I watched the slow movement of 'normalizing' relations with Vietnam. I watched the quiet disappearance of the 'great cause of democracy in SE Asia'. 

So when I hear the President speak of "sacrifice", "stop them over there before they come over here", and "enduring hardship", I am caught in a moment that I can barely describe. I am carried back to that moment of watching the POWs returning home from Vietnam and wanting to believe that somehow, by some mistake my father would be on that plane. That moment of wanting to believe that this all did mean something- that my father's death had served a purpose. ANd knowing that in each nd every moment the answer will be "no". 

Mr. President there is no honor in the death of any serviceman except in the honor that they bring to themselves by their discipline and integrity of service. There is no value in the 'cause of freedom and democracy' except as exist in the ability of men and women to live by these principles.

All I can say is- Sean Scully- so stupidly simple but f*ing brilliant. Check out the new show at Met (http://www.metmuseum.org/special/sean_scully/images.asp) or (like me) the article about it in Art in America.

   This,This  (1994)
     A Happy Land (1984)

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Goose
Returning home, or to that place of comfort inside oneself. Or outgrowing dependence on parents and establishing one's own independence and identity. Also, endurance and persistence. [From: online Dream Dictionary]

I have gotten two geese this Christmas- one in the form of a Christmas ornament and the other as charitable donaiton through the group Heifer International [www.heifer.org]- check it out very cool!.  Being the intuitive and Jungian person that I am I figure there must be some metamessage from the cosmos in all this.

Hmmmmm....or maybe I just need to find better ways distract myself.

You are The Sun

Happiness, Content, Joy.

The meanings for the Sun are fairly simple and consistent.

Young, healthy, new, fresh. The brain is working, things that were muddled come clear, everything falls into place, and everything seems to go your way.

The Sun is ruled by the Sun, of course. This is the light that comes after the long dark night, Apollo to the Moon's Diana. A positive card, it promises you your day in the sun. Glory, gain, triumph, pleasure, truth, success. As the moon symbolized inspiration from the unconscious, from dreams, this card symbolizes discoveries made fully consciousness and wide awake. You have an understanding and enjoyment of science and math, beautifully constructed music, carefully reasoned philosophy. It is a card of intellect, clarity of mind, and feelings of youthful energy.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.